Woman invites family for Thanksgiving meal, next day sends them the bill

A Thanksgiving gathering has triggered widespread online criticism after a social-media user revealed that a family member requested $30 the day after inviting him and his girlfriend to the holiday celebration—despite no mention of any cost beforehand.

The Reddit post, shared by user u/throwthisawaykindly on Reddit’s AITAH forum, quickly went viral as commenters called the move “tacky,” “slimey,” and “unbelievably rude.” The post said the man accepted an invitation from his sister for Thanksgiving, hoping to spend time with extended family after losing his mom two years earlier. Wanting to contribute to the celebration, he and his girlfriend also brought a $40 tiramisu cake.

The gathering itself appeared warm and welcoming. Guests were greeted with a large catered spread, drinks and visiting family members from abroad. “We had a good time chatting and also some family from outside the country was visiting us and staying with my sister so I also wanted to go to spend time with them before they left,” the post said.

But the next day, something unexpected happened. “The night ended and everything was good. This morning I got a text from my sister,” the post read. 

The sister said that guests “had to pay” for the catered food and requested $30.

“I am guessing it was $30 a person, which seems like a lot because yes they had a lot of options, but it wasn’t like anything out of this world. For instance a Thanksgiving plate is around $21 at restaurants with all the fixings…and they had catered a turkey from a fast food place,” the post said.

The poster ultimately transferred the money but noted feeling that the request came out of nowhere. 

“Am I the a****** for thinking that it’s tacky that they were charging money after being invited to go? It’s not about the money it’s about not knowing until the day after,” he wrote. 

Despite some people openly admitting to charging family for holiday meals, on Reddit, commenters overwhelmingly took the poster’s side, calling the sibling’s actions rude and socially unacceptable.

“Tacky as hell, wtf,” said one commenter, while another wrote: “That was pretty slimey to suddenly charge afterward almost in a forced obligation kind of way.”

“Charging before or after the fact is straight up tacky. I’d stay home next year,” another Reddit user posted.

Expert Reacts

Jo Hayes, a world-leading etiquette expert and founder of Etiquette Expert, described the situation as “an etiquette faux pas, if ever there was one.”

Hayes told Newsweek that charging guests for a holiday meal is generally never appropriate, unless expectations are clearly set ahead of time.

“If one is inviting guests for a meal, celebration or event at their home…one does not charge said guests on a per-head basis,” Hayes said. She added that, while families often share costs for major holiday meals, “the problem arises when this is not communicated or agreed to prior to the event.”

Hayes added that unexpected charges after a gathering violate basic hosting standards: “Inviting people to an event, and then, once they’ve arrived—or after the event—springing on them, ‘Oh, by the way, it’s $30,’ is appalling hosting behavior. No. Absolutely not,” she said. 

Newsweek reached out to u/throwthisawaykindly via Reddit for comment. We were not able to verify the details of this story.