Money Reveals What Kind of Friend You Are

Both sides can carry shame. The friend with less money may feel judged or inadequate. Meanwhile, many affluent people also carry a deep shame around wealth, feel undeserving of it, and hide their financial means. “I once worked with a woman set to inherit millions who felt she couldn’t accept it until she had proved her worth by earning her own,” says Dutchevici.

It is interesting to witness how wealth inequality is reshaping friendships, particularly as the cost of living continues to rise and people in the same social circles can have wildly different disposable incomes. Many of my friends have had their parents buy them houses, so their entire salary is spent on holidays, shopping, and frivolous hobbies. My paycheck, in contrast, goes towards rent and covering my basic needs. This inherently changes how we spend our days. 

There is an emotional side of the friendship wealth divide, too: the guilt of saying no, the shame of admitting you can’t afford something, the resentment that can build when one friend gets to choose the restaurant or holiday, and the awkwardness of accepting that in the face of a high price tag. All of these pressures have led me to believe that friendship requires more financial negotiation than it once did.