Woman accusing husband’s “work wife” of destroying marriage backed

A woman has turned to internet users for advice following a series of uncomfortable events involving her husband’s female colleague.

The Reddit post titled, “My husband doesn’t see how his ‘work wife’ is trying to destroy our marriage” has received 9,300 upvotes at the time of writing.

The 31-year-old woman, who goes by u/Honeybellmama, referred to her husband as Mark, 32, and the coworker as Sarah, 30. She added that the problems started three years ago when they invited Sarah over to their BBQ and quickly regretted it.

“She spent the entire time making backhanded comments about everything from my career (‘Oh, you’re just a yoga instructor? How … peaceful.’) to my cooking (‘I guess not everyone can master basic seasoning.’),” she said. “The real problem is that Mark thinks she’s ‘just being funny.'”

More recently, in January, she threw away his anniversary mug because it “clashed with the office aesthetic.”

The woman wrote: “When I got upset, Mark said I was being too sensitive and that ‘Sarah just has high standards for office decor.’ IT WAS A MUG WITH OUR WEDDING PHOTO ON IT.”

The wife made a list highlighting more things Sarah has done to upset her:

• “She scheduled a ‘mandatory’ work dinner on our anniversary.”
• “She convinced Mark not to take a promotion because it would mean working with a different team.”
• “She posts daily photos of them together with hashtags like #WorkPowerCouple and #WorkSpouse.”
• “She tells everyone at their office that she “takes better care of him than I do.”
• “She changed his coffee order and now tells everyone she “trained him right.”

The wife said that the worst part is that Mark is oblivious to Sarah’s behavior and he was shocked when his wife suggested marriage counseling.

The woman said the breaking point was when she stopped by his office to surprise him with lunch on his birthday and found Sarah had bought him a cake addressed to her “work hubby.”

“This woman is trying to destroy my marriage while my husband stands there grinning like it’s all some big joke. What do I do? Divorce seems extreme, but I’m running out of options here,” she wrote.

Newsweek reached out to u/Honeybellmama for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

It Is Not ‘Petty or Insecure’

Emma Kobil, a licensed professional counselor at Mindful Counseling in Denver, Colorado, spoke to Newsweek about the February 10 post.

She said: “The foundation of a healthy relationship is trust, mutual respect, and helping your partner feel like a priority. Sometimes external relationships—like close work friendships—can start to blur boundaries, create tension, and lead to (totally natural) feelings of insecurity.”

Kobil suggested approaching the conversation about a coworker “from a place of vulnerability rather than accusation,” as this can help the partner hear you rather than get defensive.

She has provided the following steps that the spouse may need to take to help his wife feel more comfortable:

• Limiting nonessential communication outside of work hours.
• Redirecting conversations that become too personal or inappropriate.
• Clearly stating that their marriage is his priority.
• Avoiding private, one-on-one outings that could create blurred lines.

Kobil added: “No one outside of your marriage should be making you feel like an outsider in your own relationship. If you feel that a coworker’s behavior is crossing the line, calling this out is not being petty or insecure. It is you taking care of yourself and ensuring that your marriage remains a safe, respectful space for both of you.”

Reddit Reacts

Almost 2,000 users have commented on the post—many are suggesting she leave the marriage.

One comment with 11,000 upvotes read: “You have a husband problem. Go to counseling and get professional help to communicate your concerns. Remind him that he’s married to you, not Sarah, so her opinions shouldn’t matter when it comes to your marriage. Good luck, but be prepared for the worst.”

“Sarah is not the problem. Your husband doesn’t respect your vows or you. Take it from someone who was married to a serial cheater. You already let him know how you feel and asked to go to counseling. Pack up and leave and see how he responds,” posted another user.

A third comment with 14,000 upvotes said: “Sarah would not be able to sabotage your marriage if your husband wasn’t allowing it.”