The Cost-of-Living Crisis Is Rewriting the Rules of Dating

The only people I know who can afford to live by themselves are people who inherited money or property. I remember dating a guy in my early 20s who lived with his parents. We spent time at my flat or booked an Airbnb or a hotel, which was exhausting and annoying. When we broke up, I said, “Never again!” But with the current economy, I now hesitate to rule out a dating match just because he lives at home or with three flatmates.

In major cities like New York or London, the cost of living turns dating into a class issue. More than a quarter of Londoners live in poverty. Meanwhile, financial pressures are equally apparent across the Atlantic. Half of working-age New Yorkers are struggling to cover their basic needs. These challenges inevitably impact when, who, and how we date. 

For instance, on social media, women are being advised not to go on coffee dates because they are low-effort. And while I understand the desire to feel like the person you are on a date with is invested in your connection, I fear the cost-of-living crisis can cause us to conflate cost with effort. On one hand, I agree that men who ask me out on a coffee date may be pursuing doing coffee dates with multiple women in the same week because it’s affordable, which automatically doesn’t make me feel special. On the other hand, it’s a quick way to gauge compatibility and invest accordingly, which is understandable.