What we get wrong about “only child” families, according to a psychologist

For parents juggling multiple children, there’s a familiar feeling when one is suddenly out of the picture: looking after just one can feel almost like a break.

Now, some have dubbed those moments “hobby parenting” online—a term for when parenting feels more manageable, even enjoyable, compared to the usual juggle.

That said, experts told Newsweek that the framing is not only misleading, it risks overlooking the emotional complexity of family life.

“It doesn’t make parenting easier, it makes it differently demanding,” said Melissa Tract, a licensed psychotherapist who works with young people and families.

The debate surfaced on Instagram recently in which a mom described having only one child for a weekend as “glorious” and “like a hobby.”

Tract said such comparisons often confuse practical logistics with the deeper work of parenting.

“The ‘easier’ framing likely conflates fewer logistics with less effort, and those are very different things,” she said. “Parenting intensity isn’t purely a function of headcount.”

While managing multiple children can involve competing needs and more complex routines, Tract argued that one-child households come with their own unique pressures.

Without siblings, the parent-child relationship is often more concentrated, with greater emotional attunement and more direct engagement.

“There’s more direct one-on-one time, more negotiation between parent and child, and often a closer emotional attunement,” Tract said. “That can be a beautiful thing, and it can also create pressure on the child to be the sole recipient of a parent’s hopes, anxieties and attention.”

Research, she added, does not support the idea that raising one child is inherently easier. Studies suggest only children often develop closer relationships with their parents, reflecting more concentrated time, attention and emotional investment, rather than less effort.

Registered psychologist and family therapist Lisa Thomson agreed, noting that parenting experiences vary widely depending on factors beyond family size.

“The ‘hobby parenting’ debate assumes that parenting intensity can be inferred from family size alone, but that overlooks the many other factors that shape the day-to-day experience of raising a child,” she said.

In one-child households, parents are often the primary source of interaction, play and emotional support at home—something that requires “ongoing intentionality and sustained availability,” Thomson said.

Language, she added, also plays a role in reinforcing perceptions.

“Phrases like when people you meet as if you have ‘only one child’ can unintentionally imply something lacking or incomplete, even when that is not that person’s intent,” Thomson said. “For many parents, this reflects a broader cultural bias that equates family size with legitimacy, value or depth of experience.”

Stereotypes about only children—such as being spoiled or socially awkward—have, in fact, long been challenged by research.

A recent Gallup poll found 47 percent of American families favor one or two children and 45 percent thought larger families are ideal.

“The stereotype says more about cultural discomfort with small families than it does about actual outcomes,” Tract said.

For some families, the framing of “hobby parenting” can feel particularly dismissive.

Decisions around family size are often shaped by a combination of factors, including fertility, finances, health and personal values—many of which are complex and deeply emotional.

Thomson believes that emotional context behind these choices is missing. “Many parents hold grief, disappointment or unexpected realities around not having the number of children they once envisioned,” she said.

Reducing parenting to a question of difficulty can be harmful in itself.

“Parenting isn’t a competition, and the way we talk about family structure shapes how parents see themselves and each other,” Tract said.

Ultimately, both specialists agreed that parenting looks different in every home—and that difference should not be interpreted as lesser or greater.

“Parenting intensity is not linear and… reliably predicted by the number of children in a home,” Thomson said. “It is shaped by temperament, resources, relational dynamics and the broader context in which a family is living.”